Get back on that horse

You watch her packing the last of her stuff, while you look at her thinking how you ended up in this situation in the first place. When you walked out the door this morning everything was good. You kissed her goodbye only to return home and notice her bags at the door. She looks at you with a faded expression and tells you she needs to talk to you. You quickly realize what's about to happen and your mind is projecting your last few years together and the life without her, all at the same time. Tonight you're gonna curl up in bed, with watery eyes trying to figure out how your life will be from now on. Thinking how you wished she was there to hold you and comfort you, but it's only you in the house, it's silent and the only thing that reminds you that this is not a dream is the sound of the clock, ticking on the nightstand.

Everyone has been in this point at least once in his lifetime and everyone took that empty feeling right in the chest. But every end is just a new beginning. Right? So the next evening you put on the best shirt in the closet and slip on those shoes you once wore at a wedding and you hit the bar in search for your next love. As soon as you hit the bar you spot a couple of attractive women having cocktails and being entertained by the bartender at the end of the bar. Other random girls roaming around the bar talking to guys around the bar. After having a few drinks, waiting for one of the to magically come up to you or for the right moment to approach any of the girls, you realize that this moment will not come. You acknowledge the fact that you don't really know to to do this. It's like your senses have been dulled by the years of monogamy. In the end you find yourself alone in your bed, no closer to emotional comfort that you were the night before.

So what now? The answer is never a straight forward one. But with guidance i'm about to lay on you, you will sharpen those senses in record time.

In my experience I've learned that nothing comes from trying to go from zero to hero overnight. So you need to approach things in incremental steps.

First off get over it. You just got dumped and there's no way around it. You won't bring her back and i don't recommend it anyway. Your brain right now releases a mix of chemicals with the sole purpose of helping your body get over the heartache. Unfortunately it has some negative side effects on your attitude, body language and your ability to think clearly. At this point, even if you managed to approach a girl, in a matter of minutes, without even realizing, you will bring up the subject of relationships and how you got dumped and how much you loved her. There is absolutely nothing sexy about that. She will run faster than a super-bike in the MotoGP finals.
You need to program your mind to see this event as a chance for you to become better. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Well then you will become the strongest person you know, because this is a new opportunity for you. You are the master of your mind and body and now you have been freed from your shackles to achieve greatness. There is nothing more empowering and attractive for a man other than emotional independence. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud "I am the architect of my own life!". You are the sole owner of your destiny and it is with this in mind that you should embark on the journey ahead of you. So pick yoursef up, dust yourself off and get back on that horse.